Connections

I'm still on the Diet to Live For

2010-12-11T14:39:00.000-06:00

I’m back! Honestly, I didn’t fall off the face of the planet, and I didn’t fall off the Diet to Live For wagon, either. The diet’s going well, and I’ve (mostly) avoided the bad stuff. I’ve eaten a whole grain cookie or two (with sugar cane juice). The worst thing I did was eat Fig Newtons after Thanksgiving. My ex-mother-in-law sent me a package of them as a gift (don’t all mothers-in-law equate food with love?). I used to love Fig Newtons when I was a kid, so I had a couple. And then I had another couple. And then I ate four. This was after dinner. The next morning, I ate about six. Then the trouble started.

For the next 36 hours, I had diarrhea every hour or two. My body was really screaming at me for eating that crap! I didn’t feel sick, didn’t throw up or anything; I just kept having to spend lots of time in the bathroom. The cats liked having a captive audience to pet them, but then they began to avoid me because of the…well, you know…the smell.

The rest of the package is gone, now. No more white flour, white sugar, chemical-laden bars from my childhood. Just cannot eat them any longer. See, this may be the one downside to changing your diet to one that contains less refined and processed junk. Your body likes getting nutritious food and rebels when you try to give it the junk again.

The first week of the Diet to Live For

2010-11-15T12:32:00.000-06:00

It’s been over a week since I began my Diet to Live For. Here is how it went: I fudged a couple of times: I had candy the first day, I ate ice cream on day 4 (Tuesday), and I had fast food on Thursday (Wendy’s double jr. cheeseburger, fries, lite lemonade). I lost 5 pounds (from 198 to 193), but gained 2 back (195). I feel better—less bloated, less hungry over time.

I have to say that sticking to this diet hasn’t been completely easy, because our pantry was getting low, and we didn’t have the money to go buy a lot of veggies. Instead, I began scavenging through the freezer and pantry, looking for things I could eat. The good news is that I’ve cooked more this week, and Claire and I both have eaten well. For example, for lunch on Friday I made Parmesan-crusted chicken tenders, frozen broccoli with cheese sauce (homemade), and frozen green peas. We ate the tenders with sour cream, and put butter on our peas. Claire pronounced the chicken tenders to be very yummy.

On Saturday (11/13) I went to Wal-Mart and stocked up on fresh food. I buy the bulk of my food there, because my food dollar stretches further. I haven’t made it to Whole Foods Market yet, which is where I find my grass-fed beef, uncured bacon, butter, and cream. I’ll also buy the flours I need there, as most of their bulk items are organic. Still need to go to the Asian market some time, where I’ll pick up Claire’s Mi Ga®, the chicken-flavored ramen she likes (this is definitely not on my list of approved foods). If I had a small mom-and-pop type grocery available here in Arlington, I’d shop there. Tom Thumb, Aldi, Kroger, and Wal-Mart are all owned by big corporations, so in my opinion, they’re all about the same. Wal-Mart and Aldi are the cheapest, so that’s where I shop. Some items I do buy from Tom Thumb, because I can’t find them at Wal-Mart, like Claire’s deli hoagies for $1.99 each when you buy two or more. They have a great mustard potato salad that Claire likes, too.

Mostly I have eaten well this past week. I feel great even if I can’t get my sleep habits back to normal after the time change (I practically pass out by 9pm and am wide awake by 5 or 5:30am). I am eating a serving (5 cookies) of Back to Nature ™ California Lemon Cookies in the morning with my tea. They have sugar, but it’s dried cane syrup, and they’re made from whole wheat flour, so they are okay in moderation. This morning I have to confess to falling off the wagon. I had a fresh banana with about 3 tablespoons of Cool Whip. The banana? Not so bad. The Cool Whip, however, is definitely NOT on my plan, because it is made with hydrogenated oils. Oops.

I intend to persevere with this new way of eating, and it’s getting easier. The trick is to not keep anything in the house that is not on the plan, so that I’m not tempted. Not an easy thing to do when you live with someone who refuses to stop eating junk food! I did ask Claire to keep the bag of Halloween chocolates hidden from me, and that has helped. Yesterday, we made chicken salad together. A woman I met at the meat counter at Wal-Mart gave me the idea. We used garlic/herb chicken breast (Butterball ™), sliced about ¼” thick, chopped up. Added 1 stalk of organic celery, chopped fine (I’d have left it larger, but Claire hates celery), some seedless red grapes (also cut up), grape tomatoes, Vlasik™ zesty dill pickles, and mayonnaise with a little sour cream added to it. We seasoned it with a faint sprinkle of garlic powder and a pinch of sea salt flakes. Yummy! We made sandwiches and added avocado. I did eat about 10 Pringles™ with it for crunch.

Today, to satisfy my desire for crunchy things, I’ve toasted a couple of Flatout™ wraps. They get crispier and better if left out to finish air-drying. I’ll then add some olive oil and garlic powder and salt and make some yummy crackers to eat with my left-over chicken salad for lunch. Tonight I’m going to try Rachael Ray’s honey mustard wings from her great cookbook, 30-Minute Get Real Meals, her addition to the lower carb bandwagon. I’m also going to make some Lemon Kale Chips, from Laura Trice’s The Wholesome Junk Food Cookbook. She says they are crunchy like potato chips, yet are much better for you. I love kale anyway, so they sound delish.

I’m going to stop here and go make my lunch and get ready for my day. All this writing about food is making me hungry again! If you have any comments or suggestions on this ‘diet,’ please let me know. And if you would, please retweet or share this post on Facebook, so more people can learn about how healthy foods can heal.

My food diary follows. Note that I’m also showing my blood sugar readings (FBG=fasting blood glucose, BG=blood glucose); my morning readings have always been high.

Food diary

11/6/2010 (Saturday):

6:30am:

FBG: 234 (yikes! Way too high!)

Black tea with half and half, 1 packet of Truvia®, 2 Splenda tablets

7:30-7:45am

3 snack sized choc candy bars

9-9:30am

2 eggs, scrambled in bacon fat from:

3 slices bacon (uncured)

1 slice whole wheat toast, spread with 1 oz cream cheese, 1 tablespoon homemade pear jam

12:30pm

1/2 cup trail mix

2:15pm

BG: 152

6pm

1 chicken breast, coated in Parmesan cheese and fried in olive oil

Broccoli and cauliflower, steamed, with butter and salt

1 medium size potato, sliced and baked with spices and olive oil

7:30pm

1 snack sized bag of Skittles

8:00pm:

BG: 187

11/7/2010 (Sunday):

5:45am:

BG: 164

Lavender Earl Grey Tea, 1 packet Truvia

1/2 Flatout bread, toasted, with butter and a few sprinkles of Truvia (less than 1/2 pkt)

7:30am

Smoothie: 1 cup whole milk, 2 raw eggs, 1/2 tsp vanilla, 1/2 banana, 1 1/2 cups frozen fruit (strawberries, peaches, mango, pineapple)

11:30am

Trail mix (no chocolate this time, only nuts and raisins)

1:30pm

BG: 129 (down from 164 fasting)

3:00pm

Sandwich: leftover parmesan chicken with mayo on 2 slices ww bread; 1 dill pickle spear

Had something to eat around 7pm, but cannot remember what. Now what does that tell you? I probably ate something not so good for me, but not very memorable, either. If it was really bad, I would have remembered it.

9:00pm

3 mini pumpkin pies

10:00p

Carrots and Ranch dip (sour cream + Ranch mix)

11/8/10 (Monday):

Weight: 198

6:15am

FBG: 152

Tea (black, with 1 pkt Truvia, half and half); 3 mini-pumpkin pies; ½ FlatOut bread toasted, with butter and less than ½ pkt Truvia

9:30am

Smoothie: 1 cup milk, 1 egg, ½ tsp vanilla, ½ banana, 1 cup + frozen fruit

2:00pm

Sandwich (leftover parmesan chicken, 2 slices ww bread, mayo, mustard), about ½ FlatOut bread (toasted, with olive oil, garlic powder, and salt)

6:15pm

BG: 129

7:00pm

Ground pork, browned with ¼ cup onion, Mrs. Dash, served with grated cheese melted on top and sour cream; lima beans with butter

8:00pm

1 mini pumpkin pie

10:00pm

BG: 152

11/9/10 (Tuesday):

Weight: 198

5:45am

FBG: 158

Tea (black, milk, 1 pkt Truvia); 3 mini-pumpkin pies with 1/3 pkt Truvia

8:00am

Smoothie (1½ cups milk; 1½ scoops vanilla protein powder)

9:30am

BG: 154

1:30pm

Sandwich (peanut butter, honey, 2 slices ww bread)

3:00pm

Low carb protein bar

6:00pm

Leftover ground pork & lima beans with butter and sour cream

3 mini-pumpkin pies with ¾ cup natural vanilla ice cream

11/10/10 (Wednesday)

5:30am

FBG: 159

Tea (loose green w/dried rosebuds, 1 pkt Truvia ®)

7:30am

½ Flatout wrap (toasted w/EVOO, garlic powder, salt) spread with butter and Marmite

9:30am

Smoothie: 1 cup milk, 1 egg, ½ banana, frozen fruit, ½ tsp vanilla

12:30pm

Flatout wrap with leftover parmesan chicken, mayo, sour cream Ranch dip

6:00pm

Leftover ground pork, lima beans with butter

8:00pm

3 canned pear halves (in juice, not sugar)

Tuesday, 11/11/10

6:45am

FBG: 157

Earl Grey Tea, 1 pkt Truvia

9:00am

Oatmeal: cooked with water, milk, currants, cinnamon stick, butter (no added sweetener)

2:15pm

Flatout wrap with peanut butter and jelly

4:30pm

Dried currants, crispy pecans

7:30pm

Wendy’s: double jr. burger (no cheese), fries, lite lemonade

8:30pm

BG: 173

10:15pm

BG 174

Friday, 11/12/10

5:30am

FBG: 159

Black tea with milk, 1 pkt Truvia

7:30am

Leftover oatmeal with butter

8:30am

BG 165

12:30pm

Parmesan-crusted chicken tenders, sour cream, broccoli with cheese sauce, English peas with butter

4:45pm

BG 126

5:00pm

Smoothie (1 cup milk, 1 egg, ½ banana, frozen fruit, ½ tsp vanilla)

Saturday, 11/13/10

5:30am

FBG: 171

Dried lime tea with 1 pkt truvia,

7:30am

4 mini-pumpkin pies

10:00am

Sandwich: Cajun turkey breast, havarti, tomato, dill pickle

1:00pm

Cokers BBQ: baked potato, chopped beef, whipped spread, sour cream, bacon, BBQ sauce; fried okra

8:00pm

5 lemon cookies

8:30pm

To bed; very sleepy

Sunday, 11/14/10

5:45am

FBG: 169

Blueberry herb tea, 1 pkt Truvia, 5 lemon cookies

8:00am

15 tiny gluten free crackers (about 10 g CHO), melted Colby/jack cheese on top, with ½ of a green olive per cracker (this actually made me ravenous, instead of sating my hunger)

1:00pm

Sandwich: Chicken salad (garlic herb chicken breast lunch meat, mayo/sour cream, grapes, grape tomatoes, dill pickle, celery), avocado; a few more grapes, a few Pringles

6:00pm

Flatout pizza: marinara sauce, pepperoni, mushrooms, onions, black olives, mozzarella

Monday, 11/15/10

6:00am

FBG: 168

Blueberry tea with 1 pkt Truvia, juice from ½ lemon; 5 lemon cookies

7:30am

1 banana with 3 tbsp Cool Whip

The Diet to Live For

2010-11-08T14:24:00.000-06:00

My diet sucks. It has sucked for many years, now. Almost three years ago, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, a result of many years of eating too much white flour, white sugar, and not enough vegetables. I changed my diet in February, 2008, began eating fewer carbohydrates, and a few more vegetables. My blood sugars dropped down to manageable levels, and I felt better than I had in years.

That first year I did it alone. I had no health insurance, so I scraped together money to buy glucose test strips for the meter I was given (thank you, Edie), and I watched what I ate. Then, in the fall, I started feeling bad again. My blood sugars started creeping up with the increased sugars I was adding back into my diet. I decided I needed help, and was accepted into the low-income health program for my county in November.

It took until January 2009 before I could see a doctor, who promptly put me on meds to help me get things under control. I waffled back and forth about the meds, because I hate taking drugs. The doctor just kept pushing me to take them, and because I really needed to get my blood sugars under control, I gave in and took them, along with the blood pressure medicine that he told me would protect my kidneys.

In the spring of 2010, I decided to give the Atkins diet a full-on try. I told the doctor what I was planning to do, and asked for his blessing and support, which he gave. For about six weeks, I ate around 20-25 grams of carbohydrates per day. I lost ten pounds in the first week, and then nothing. I started feeling run-down and lethargic. I could hardly force myself to walk across campus. In June, I reread Diana Schwarzbein’s The Schwarzbein Principle II, and added back in a few carbs. This time I was back up to around 75-100 grams/day. My mood lightened, and I felt energetic for the first time in weeks. I lost another five pounds or so. I’ve kept that 15 pounds off so far, which is good. My blood sugars also stayed down—until I added more and more carbs back into my life, at which point the readings started creeping up again.

Now it’s November, and I’ve been eating way too much chocolate and cookies. When I ate just a little, once in a while, I could manage my blood sugars, but things are getting out of control again. I ate a huge chicken pot pie for dinner the other night (two servings, for a total of 84grams of carbs), along with a package of M&M candies. The next morning my fasting sugars were over 200 and that hasn’t happened since the first six weeks after my diagnosis! Something has to change—now.

I have decided it’s time to put my ‘diet to live for’ to the test. In this way of eating, which is nothing new at all, but simply a return to the traditions of our parents and grandparents, I intend to eat fresh, whole foods as close to their natural state as possible. The goal is to avoid all processed and refined foods, including enriched, bleached wheat flour, white sugar, and trans fats. The fiber in whole grains will help my body to slow down the absorption of carbohydrates, so that they should have a minimal effect on my blood sugars.

Here is what I plan to eat:

· Meat

o humanely raised or grass-fed

· Fats

o including, but not an exhaustive list, butter, ghee, lard—rendered without hydrogenation, duck fat, olive oil, expeller-pressed sunflower oil, virgin coconut oil

· Eggs

o organic, because the chickens must be free-range; or locally sourced from small producers who free-range their hens

· Vegetables

o any kind, but preference will be for locally grown, naturally grown, or organic, in that order

· Fruits

o any kind, but I plan to rely more on berries for their low glycemic index

· Whole grains

o oats, brown rice, bulghur, etc.

· Honey

o this is the only natural sweetener besides fruit that isn’t processed in any way

Some semi-processed items I’ll use:

· Whole wheat bread

o It does contain preservatives and the cheap stuff has some HFCS, but the whole grains do not adversely affect my blood sugars

· Whole wheat flour

· Unbleached wheat flour

o this will be just to add lightness to baked goods, along with the whole wheat

· Spelt

o unbleached, whole

· Truvia ® (stevia and erythritol)

· Cocoa powder

· 70-85% cocoa chocolate bars

o I really don’t like dark chocolate, so this is just to add to recipes, mostly

· Molasses

· Evaporated cane juice

o I’m researching this one as an option, if it’s not too processed

I started this diet two days ago. As I plan to be scrupulously honest about my food choices on this blog, I should tell you right now that the first day I had 3 snack sized chocolate candy bars (for breakfast, no less) and I ate a snack sized package of Skittles after dinner. Something sweet after each meal is something I’ve been programmed to do, and I have a feeling this habit will be hard to break. I’m going to make myself something I can call ‘dessert’ that fits within the guidelines I’ve set for myself. A book I found in my local library yesterday, The wholesome junk food cookbook, by Laura Trice, seems like it’ll fit the bill for recipes to try. The key is moderation, however. If I eat too much of anything with carbs, I tend to overeat it.

There are other considerations. When I start my travels in January, will I be able to stick to the ‘diet to live for?’ Most people in the Western world don’t follow this diet. I’ll be living with friends, and depending upon them for my sustenance. Guess beginning this trial now will get me used to eating less, and hopefully I’ll find things I can eat while on the road. No, I have decided that I WILL stay on my new diet. I do not have to eat sugary sweets at any time. I can limit the amount of starchy foods I eat. I also do not have to eat refined carbohydrates, like white rice, white bread, etc.

This way of eating, or WOE, as it is called by many, is my pledge for getting and staying healthy. I have this insane desire to live a very long time (I used to tell people I knew I was going to live to the age of 145, and be healthy and active up until the end), and I know that if I do not change my diet, the odds of me making it that long aren’t great.

I'd love to hear from folks about how they are eating, whether for health, medical problems, or to lose weight. And if you like this post, please repost on either Facebook or Twitter, so my message can be seen by as many people as possible.

How the French Eat

2010-11-02T15:28:00.001-05:00

This is something I wrote after I visited Paris in July 2007:

There are some key differences between the French and Americans, especially in the way that they enjoy their food. For example, the French clean their plates. Literally. In the United States, it is essential etiquette to leave something on the plate, notwithstanding our mothers’ admonitions to do otherwise. In France, however, it is impolite to leave food uneaten. Not just impolite, it is an affront, an insult to the cook.

Here is how the French clean their plates. First, one pinches off bite-sized pieces of bread, and then uses them to mop up every last drop of soup, vinaigrette, and sauce, until the plate looks clean enough to skip the dishwasher and go directly back into the cupboard.

Another difference between Americans and the French is bread. Bread is truly the staff of life for the French. It appears at every meal. For breakfast, there are either croissants, or a baguette, served with butter and jam (le confiture). At lunch and dinner, bread is there, usually in the form of a baguette. I do not believe the French could eat without bread.

The last difference is cheese. In America, cheese is an appetizer, it is for breakfast, and it is a sandwich, hot or cold. It’s melted on top of dishes. In France, cheese is so important that it has its own special place in the meal. After the main dish is finished, and before dessert, the cheese course is served. There are more than 365 different cheeses in France, so there are many choices. French bleu, chevre (goat cheese), even Havarti types. And of course, cheese is always served with bread. Cheese is never served for breakfast, however. “It is not French,” I was informed by a Parisian.

Anywhere can be sacred space

2010-11-01T13:09:00.001-05:00

I wrote this as an essay assignment for my English composition class in 2005, about an experience I had in Scotland:

Beginning in the fall of 2001, I spent the better part of six months in Scotland, traveling and backpacking. It was early October, and I was sitting in the bus station in Glasgow. It was cold outside, and wet, but dry and fairly warm in the big waiting area. The buses were lined up outside, facing into the lobby. A long wall of glass separated me from the buses, and the cold weather. I was on my way to the Loch Lomond Youth Hostel. Loch Lomond is close, actually only a short thirty-minute drive from Glasgow, but I had no car. I had enough money to buy my bus ticket, a sandwich and drink, and very little left over. As I slowly ate my bacon sandwich and drank my Dr. Pepper, I wondered how I was to survive in a foreign country with no money. I began to put down my thoughts, my fears, and questions into my journal. In the middle of all the hustle and bustle of such a busy place, all the people coming and going on their mysterious journeys, I was virtually deaf and blind to all about me. Nothing existed at that moment in time but my journal, my pen, and me.

As I wrote of what I had done that day—the walk across the city from the youth hostel; stopping to look back across the panorama of the city and its parks and university; admiring the architecture of the Victorian guest houses on the street above Sauchiehall Road (the more modern main road through the city center)—I asked myself what was next, where was I going from there? Once the question formed in my mind, and was committed to paper, the answers began to flow into my mind, as if by magic. I could hardly write fast enough to get it all down before one thought disappeared and another took its place. More questions arose in response to the answers I received, and I wrote them down, as well. It was a dialogue with myself, my higher mind, perhaps, all captured on paper. Throughout this storm on paper, I was only peripherally aware of my surroundings. I knew people were walking by me. I could tell they were curious as to what I was doing, but I did not acknowledge them. Even when I looked up, I did not really see them. I was caught up in the world of my mind. Once in a while, I surfaced long enough to note the time, and to verify that I had not missed my bus, and I found myself momentarily disoriented and had to refocus. Then I sank once more into the intimate world of my own making, into the sacred space of my journal. It felt safe there. The answers I received while writing in my journal reassured me that I would always be taken care of, that I was a survivor, and need not worry.

There were many such memories from my travels through Scotland, but the time in the Glasgow bus station is foremost in my mind lately. It was one of the times when my surroundings were not peaceful, yet I was able to disengage from it all while in my sacred space. I felt at peace there, for those few moments. If more people understood that sacred space could be defined as more than just simply a church, or perhaps a place in nature, I think they might find theirs more easily. If more people found their own sacred space, and spent some time there, they might have more peace in their souls. And perhaps, we might find this world a more peaceful place as a result.

On Life Missions

2010-10-20T13:41:00.001-05:00

What is my mission in life? What do I really want to do? Not what I think I should do, or what will get me the most money, but my secret desire, that which will make me the happiest. OK, I’ll tell you. It’s not profound; it even sounds stupid to me and self-serving. I just want to have fun. Really, that’s the be-all and end-all of my life. If it’s no longer fun, then I drop it like a hot potato.

Looking back on my life, I can see why I didn’t finish most things—they stopped being fun. For example, I went to work for a travel agency in 2000 because I wanted to travel (I thought they’d give me free tickets). The first eight weeks I was in training, and since I love to learn, that was fun. Then I went to the sales floor (this was a call center) and spent a month trying to sell airfare, hotel, and car rentals. The part I enjoyed most was helping people figure out how to get from point A to point B. Before this could become boring, I was offered the option to go to the customer service department. This meant 5-6 more weeks of training (read: learning), so naturally I jumped at the chance. However, once training was over, and I was actually in the trenches, helping people solve the problems that the company had (mostly) created, it quickly became mundane. The most exciting moment for me was when I had to take a call from someone using an operator as a go-between, because they were deaf. This was a challenge! I might have stayed longer than July of 2001 if I had ever once received a bonus, but all bonuses were tied to ‘handle time,’ which meant that I needed to get on and off the call quickly. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to talk. I told myself I wasn’t having fun any more, and besides, I wanted to travel, not help others to travel! So I quit. The next thing I did was to sell most of my stuff and buy a six-month round trip ticket to London. Now, that was fun!

Most of the things I remember fondly in my life are because I found them to be fun. In 2005, bored after being a massage therapist for ten plus years, I went back to college to get my degree. Really, I just wanted to learn and have fun. After a year and a half of philosophy classes, I was bored again, so I decided to change my major to Interdisciplinary Studies (INTS). I was then able to take a wide range of classes and have fun. My focus was on cultural studies (it started out as ‘cultural travel writer’), so my core areas were Language Studies (Linguistics, French, Spanish, German), Philosophy, and Writing (English: creative writing, advanced exposition). Then I found anthropology, and fell in love with it, so added that, as well. My advisors were pretty lenient. INTS is a degree where you make your own choices. However, you do have to take three required courses for the INTS degree, which explain how to integrate the three disciplines you chose for your degree plan. Well, finishing those classes meant I had to graduate, so I took incompletes and then didn’t finish the work (they give you an F for that). I took a year off from classes to figure out my life, but stayed at the university as a tutor. I finally argued myself into graduating, and retook the classes, along with as many anthropology classes as I could, so that I could get into the graduate program. I did graduate in December 2009 with my BA in INTS. Guess what I did next?

Right. I kept going to school. At the moment, I am seeking a second undergrad degree in anthropology. It turns out I needed one more class (Biological Anthropology) to get into the grad program, plus the GRE. I still haven’t taken the GRE, because I’m not sure I really want to keep going to school. It’s not as much fun as it used to be. Although I still love learning for learning’s sake, doing the work the professors require bores me. I’m burned out on class-room learning.

What I have decided would be fun now, is to travel the world on my own. I want to be location-independent, to travel open-endedly, with no specific itinerary. I am in the process of applying for a volunteer teaching position in the country of Georgia, where I hope to spend about four months, before returning home for a short visit. After that, I intend to go to Ireland to spend at least a month as a volunteer in an English language school that a retired schoolteacher couple run, in addition to their small working farm. Traveling this way, from place to place, will be lots of fun and I don’t think I’ll get bored. By the way, I chose to make this itinerary at the start of my travels,because, frankly, I’m still scared to just go and not have a plan. Once I get on the road it’ll be easier. The fun part will be deciding where to go next.

How to get past the fear of being seen as (insert your fear here)

2010-10-13T11:12:00.001-05:00

Everett Bogue is my hero. He goes boldly where I fear to tread, and is an inspiration to me to follow my own passions. What is my field of expertise, my gift to share with the world? The ability to inspire others with my passion. Whether I am discussing healthy food, the benefits of eating a higher fat, lower carb diet, or talking about travel for travel’s sake, the enthusiasm I bring to these topics fires people up.

Yesterday, for example, I was tutoring a student in state and local government. As usual, I went off on a tangent about food. How I am able to do that, I don’t know, but this student was very interested in what I had to say. When I told her I had diabetes, she asked me how she could get tested herself, since diabetes and cancer both ran in her family. I talked about JPS Health Connection, the low-income health care that I use, and I also told her she could test her own blood sugars. She said she could get her late father’s monitor, and I explained how to test for fasting and post-prandial readings. If her blood sugar results were normal, she could relax a little and not worry about the time it takes to be accepted into JPS. However, if the results showed high readings, she would know about it sooner rather than later, and could take action now to help herself. This was my gift to her: to show her how to take control of her own life.

We also talked about blogging, and I gave her my blog addy. I showed her Everett Bogue’s Far Beyond the Stars blog, and told her he was an awesome inspiration. When we parted company, she promised to keep in touch. I’m hoping I made a new friend, as well as having helped someone.

Now, in the interest of "shipping often", I’m going to post this on my blog now. It’s not perfect in my eyes, far from it, but if I wait much longer, it will be another two or three days before I post. Thanks, Everett, for the not-so-subtle nudge!

Serendipity: How open-ended travel can lead to wonderful things

2010-10-11T11:57:00.001-05:00

What does open-ended travel mean? It means traveling with no itinerary, no set goals, and sometimes, with no fixed return plans. It can be nomadic, location-independent, not having a fixed home to which to return; but it can also be just a trip, a vacation in which you don’t make plans, you just buy a ticket to somewhere and go. In both scenarios, the traveler goes without a reservation. He or she chooses an initial destination, and then wings it upon arrival. Here’s the story of my first open-ended travel excursion:

It was March 1997 when I decided to escape my family for Spring Break. My husband took our two young children to see his parents in Arkansas, and I drove from Arlington, Texas to New Mexico. I had intended to stop in Santa Fe, where my cousin lived, but for some reason, I kept going. My plans had included stopping to camp the first night at Tesuque’s Camel Rock Campground, but I arrived at dusk and frankly, it scared the bejesus out of me to try to set up camp alone, and at night. I kept driving and ended up at a motel in Española. That felt much more secure to me. I admit that I was new at this ‘vision quest’ sort of thing, which was what several people had told me I was up to. By the next morning, after looking over the tourist brochures in the hotel lobby, I had decided to continue northward to Taos, seeing the sights along the way. Instead of the more traveled route, I took what is called the “high road” to Taos, and stopped at the Santuario de Chimayó to see the posole (Spanish for ‘well’). The story goes that in the 1800s, a light began to shine from the ground, and when people dug, they found a glowing cross buried there. That seemed to be a miracle, and so they built a church around it, of course. Many people have testified to the well’s healing powers, and the room that contains it has many crutches and letters of testimony hanging on the walls. I put some of the dirt from the well in a baggie for a friend back home, and then visited the gift shop, where I bought a tiny box with a sliding lid to put the dirt in. The lid had a cross, and in the center was a tiny lens. When you put your eye close enough, you could see a saint’s picture inside with their name. The one I chose for my friend is St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. I don’t know why that one seemed right for her, but it did. She later told me that it was odd that I would bring her holy dirt in a Christian container, as she had been seriously questioning her faith. See? Serendipity.

The rest of the trip north was filled with March beauty in the high desert. There were no spring flowers such as were blooming in north Texas, and not too many trees were leafing out. Clumps of snow persisted in the shady areas, even though the temperature was in the low 60s. The leafless stems of the red willows lent color to the drab, khaki landscape. I stopped at a restaurant for lunch, and visited a shop where I bought a couple of black pottery pieces. Did you know that they achieve that black color without glaze? They pack horse dung around the clay in their adobe ovens, or hornos. Bet you’ll never look at black pueblo pottery the same way again!

Once in Taos, I settled into the Taos Motel, a place reminiscent of older times when people first began to cross the country in cars and needed cheap places to stay. The room was rather smelly and not that great, but it was shelter. I called my cousin and we talked long into the night. She encouraged me to follow my intuition—the one that had sent me away from a visit with her. She said I should go to the local rock shop, as it was open on Sunday. So I did. And there, while enjoying looking at all the wonderful crystals and rocks, the guy there suggested I go to a chanting/toning workshop being held later that day. Since I had nothing better to do, I went, and had a peaceful meditative sojourn. As we were all getting ready to leave, I asked the woman in charge if she had a recommendation for inexpensive lodging for the night. She replied that I should really try out the Abominable Snowmansion, the hostel at the foot of the ski mountain. What a delightful name! I went and paid $22 for a bunk bed in a dormitory, half the price of the previous night’s motel. Cheap lodging can have its own drawbacks, however. The bed squeaked loudly, so I didn’t sleep very well. Besides not wanting to disturb the others in the room, the squeaking woke me up every time I moved. This was my first time in a hostel, and what was wonderful was realizing that my neighbors weren’t kids, but two women from other countries! One was an Australian woman traveling with her husband (who stayed in the men’s dorm), and the other was a young woman from Hong Kong, who had come to America to a UFO convention, and was rounding out her visit by seeing other parts of the U.S.

I took Christina, the one from Hong Kong, to the Rio Grande Gorge. This is a bridge over the river, which is about 650 feet below. The gorge is truly something not to be missed. Christina had plans to hike the mountain later that day, and her guide invited me along. I declined, as I really had no desire to hike, so he gave me directions to his wife’s studio back in Taos. Bella Sue is a weaver, and we were like long lost friends within ten minutes. We were to spend the next week practically in each other’s pockets as she showed me her town. Later in the day, I asked her for a lodging recommendation. She told me that the Adobe Inn, just up the street, was a great place. Thinking I’d gotten a great tip, I went there and booked a room for that night. What Bella Sue had actually said was, “So I’ve heard.” What I heard was, “this is a great place, and the people are wonderful.” I thought she knew the owner, but she didn’t.

The Adobe Inn turned out to be more serendipity. Through the owner, I met two Indian artists, George Bull-Coming, and Stan, who was a member of the Taos Pueblo council. Both men gave me great insight into their cultures, and I bought some of their artwork. Bella Sue introduced me to a third artist, Juanita DuBray, and through her I met her son, John Suazo. Stan and Juanita are potters, working mainly in the orange micaceous style of New Mexico pueblos. George was a sculptor in basalt gathered himself from one of the New Mexico valleys. John is a sculptor as well. His works grace the homes of many famous people.

I also met a British couple from Glastonbury, England, who were Reiki masters. I was Reiki Level II at this time. Their grown children were there, too. Their daughter had just completed her international massage therapy certification, and their son was an artist who had just been to South America to visit the Andes. Meeting people from other countries who were pursuing their dreams has been a great influence for me.

The Taos Pueblo was closed to the public the week I was there, for some sort of holiday, I think. I wasn’t supposed to be on the reservation, yet I was taken there three times, first by George (we just passed through and didn’t stop), and then Juanita, who took me to her home so I could see how she created her pots (and so I could buy something, of course). Later, I went back to meet her son, John, and bought one of his just completed sculptures). Stan also took me to his home to see his operation and to explain to me how he created the smoke shadows on his pieces.

George took me to the top of the Rio Grand gorge outside of Arroyo Hondo, a little village to the north of Taos. Here he showed me how to use smudge by breaking off a piece of cedar from a nearby tree and lighting it in my car. I kept thinking, ok, but I don’t allow smoking in my car! Then he went to the side of the gorge, and while perching on the very edge, he said a prayer in Lakota for me. He gave me a Lakota name, Pretty Feather, which he said had belonged to a famous Lakota woman. I can no longer remember the Lakota translation, but I was deeply moved. At the time, I was wearing a pair of tiny amethyst crystal earrings that my mother had given me. George saw them and told me that was his birthstone, as he was born in February. He kept hinting that he wanted one, without actually coming out and saying it. I took one off and gave it to him. He got a friend to pierce his ear, and he twisted the French hook so the earring wouldn’t fall out. My memories of George are bittersweet, as I discovered he passed away about a month after I left. I assume he took the earring to the grave with him. To this day, I feel somehow connected to this man.

The Adobe Inn became my home for the rest of my stay, and I found myself up early watching the sunrise as I did meditations. I went for a massage, and was told about a woman who did dream therapy. Ariadne was very insightful and I had two sessions with her. We went to the Taos Mountain and made a medicine wheel. She growled at each station, as if she were channeling a cougar during the ceremony. We then sat against a twin-trunked tree and did a meditation/journey. An old Indian appeared to me, whose name was Sun Bear. He told me to open my eyes and see, that there were things for me to do. All along the way that day we kept seeing things in twos: two butterflies, two deer, and twin-trunked trees. We sat on large rocks and communed with them: I could feel the energy of the rock and it was steady and slow and reassuring. It spoke to me with words that made sense at the time, but which I can no longer remember. All of this was new to me, even though I am a spiritual person.

When it was time to leave, I drove south toward Santa Fe, noting the cloud formations: eagle, otter, wolf, cougar, and others. The clouds in New Mexico are never just clouds like they are here in north Texas. That place is truly magic. As I drove east toward home in the evening, the full moon rose, and there was a full eclipse. It completely obliterated the moon just as I arrived home at around 9pm, and I remember wondering if it was an omen. My marriage was on shaky grounds already, and the money I spent on my trip was rather prohibitive in hind-sight. I mean, I personally improved the economy of Taos while I was there! It seemed prophetic later when my marriage ended about a year and a half later. Nevertheless, I treasure the synchronicities and serendipities that I encountered in March, 1997, when I traveled with no itinerary and just let the Universe guide me. What I experienced in Taos opened my eyes to new possibilities.

I have taken other trips since that followed the same open ended path, and I’ll tell about those in other posts. Have you ever traveled like this? I’d love to hear about it.

How consumerism is going the way of the dodo

2010-10-07T15:13:00.001-05:00

There is a discussion going on on Facebook today about consumerism. Dave of 100 Thing Challenge was asking if we thought that the American Dream was dead. He said that the old dream was to work hard, be a virtuous neighbor, and sacrifice for the next generation, but that the new form of it seemed to be to buy lots of stuff on credit to show off to neighbors we don't even like. Dave always asks great, thoughtful questions, and gets people talking, which is great. These questions are important.

Several people commented that they couldn’t see the world changing any time soon. They felt that the next generations would just continue the trend toward consumerism. But I disagree. I see the newer generations as a whole having a different mindset. Social media and blogs are fueling this change, and it’s spreading like wildfire. Those of us in the older generations (I’m a baby boomer, myself) are demonstrating to our children our values. And, for better or worse, they are taking it all in, and responding. True, some will follow in our footsteps of mindless consumption, but others will believe that this is the way to ruin. They agree, and they are fighting it with minimalism and by refusing to buy stuff just to have stuff. They see consumerism as the danger it is, and are rebelling against their parents (OK, and sometimes following their example). They want a better world for themselves and their children.

The point I want to make in this post is that the world is changing, and it’s changing for the better. A lot of people are arguing against consumerism. However, it’s going to take a while before it’s the norm. Any time things need to change, it takes generations to complete. Look at civil rights. It began in the 1950s, then gained real momentum in the 1960s, with the Civil Rights Act. Today, we take those civil rights for granted, but there are still people out there resisting the change. White supremacists and other hate-groups still exist. Why haven’t they gotten the message that the rest of the world disagrees with them? Because the newer generations tend to follow their parents’ examples. Until they don’t. Some of them wake up and realize that hatred is wrong, and change their minds. They live their lives according to tolerance and then they show their children (by example) a better way to be in the world. There are some in each generation who keep on hating, but in each generation that number gets smaller and smaller. One day hatred will be practiced by only a tiny fraction of the population. And so it is with consumerism. Right now, with this ‘forever recession,’ consumerism is beginning its death throes. Economists rail that its death will spell doom for civilization as we know it, and ask why are we doing this. I think that is a good thing, however. Doing business as usual is going to kill our planet, and by extension, us. Change is happening, and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are helping it along. Change is inevitable. Like civil rights, anti-consumerism cannot be stopped. It may be slowed down, it may take fifty years for it to be the norm instead of the exception, but it is coming. Watch and see.

Health Connections

2010-10-05T12:42:00.001-05:00

They say we see what we focus on. This is true for many professions. A massage therapist learns all about muscles and how having tension in them can lead to all sorts of physical issues. A tight muscle in the back, for example, torques the spine out of vertical alignment with the ground, and this leads to more pain through pinched nerves and other muscles becoming tense. If tension is not relieved, eventually disease or syndromes occur. A chiropractor’s focus is on the spine and other bones. To him or her, if the spine is not vertically aligned with the ground, nerves can be pinched, and all sorts of problems occur. The medical doctor is trained to look at symptoms of disease, and to try to cure disease through the use of drugs and surgery. Symptoms are signs of disease, and if the doctor can examine those symptoms, he or she can pinpoint which disease is the problem, and then can hopefully cure or ameliorate it with drugs and/or surgery. A good example of this is the television show House, M.D. Every week, a team of doctors who are great diagnosticians are presented with a mystery illness. They throw copious amounts of tests, drugs, and surgery at the patient in the hopes that one of them will stick and cure them. The show pooh-poohs the idea of alternative remedies being of any use whatsoever.

Notice that each professional focuses on what they are taught. It is the rare doctor who sees a disease as being possible because of muscle tension or an imbalance of the spine, and when they do, they still think surgery and drugs are the answer. The massage therapist eschews the idea of using drugs and surgery when he or she can release a person’s tension and cure the problem. Likewise, the chiropractor sees gentle manipulation of the spine as the way to health. He or she might use herbs or other ‘healthy’ supplements, but drugs and surgery are never considered.

I wish that we had medical overseers who could look at the whole picture, taking into account the state of tension, the torsion of bones, as well as symptoms, and come up with a holistic program that treats the entire person, not just parts. Getting regular massage is very therapeutic and healing, as are regular chiropractic adjustments, but seeing a medical doctor and being screened for disease is also valid. Many lives have been saved by cancer screenings (thermal mammography, PAP smears, and prostate exams, just to name three). Regular dental checkups pinpoint problems before they result in root canals and loss of teeth. (This last one I can personally attest to: I went over ten years without a checkup and ended up with two root canals, an extraction, and the need for five crowns.) However, no single one of these is the ultimate answer to health. We need to connect all of these modalities into our healthcare system, in my opinion. Dental health is so important it should not be relegated to fringe status. Disease in the mouth and gums has been proven to be directly linked to heart disease, and I’m sure there are others.

The point I am making here is that everything is connected. Nothing in the human body ever stands alone. We must look at the whole person, all the symptoms, all the attributes, and use all of the modalities listed above (and more) to treat them successfully. The connections we make about health are vitally important if we are to survive as a species. What do you think?

If you liked this post, please pass it along by liking it on Facebook or retweeting it to Twitter. Spread the word!

Connections and Passionate Living

2010-10-03T18:53:00.001-05:00

I'm changing the format of this blog. It used to be Erratica's Musings, and was a mix of my ramblings and pictures of my cats. Not very focused, but it served the purpose I had for it at the time. Now my purpose is clearer, and so it seemed right to redesign the blog. I like blogger--they make it relatively easy for me to design, arrange, and post, so I've decided to stay here for now and just make the necessary changes.
One of my passions is connections. I love to make connections between things, and I love to show other people connections. In my tutoring, for example, one of my methods is to get my students to see how what they are studying relates to real life. This runs the gamut from using pictures to get across idiomatic phrases to how the Cold War was depicted in spy novels and movies.

There are four other passions I am most interested in: serendipity, location independence, open-ended travel, and the Diet to Live For ©. All of these are connected in some way or another. I'll show you how.
Serendipity is defined as luck, as seeming coincidence. But I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everything is connected, somehow. Just look how the rest of my personal passions are connected.

Location-independence. What if we could work from anywhere in the world? How would that free us to explore our own passions, including traveling. OK, not everyone wants to travel the world like I do, but many would like to be able to visit certain places. If you weren’t tied to an office, you could do that much more easily. Technology allows this to happen. Everett Bogue is doing that now. Go read his Far Beyond the Stars blog. He is a minimalist so that he can live and work from anywhere in the world, and he encourages us all to do the same. Chris Guillebeau (The Art of Nonconformity) and his wife have a home in Portland, but he believes that people should follow their passions. One of his is to travel to every country in the world by the time he turns 35 years old. He’s 32 now, and has only about 60 countries left to see in the next three years. I’m betting he makes it. Both of these men have inspired me to do the same. While I haven’t pared down to the 75 personal items that Everett now owns, I have eliminated maybe 90% of my ‘stuff.’ My goal is to travel the world, which leads us to the next connection—

Open-ended travel. In another blog by the Earth Pilgrim, Graham asks if we can travel with no itinerary, with no plans other than to follow the evolution of each place you visit. In his words, “True freedom comes from detaching from the outcome.” In his post, he also talks about the end of the trip, and I’ve done this kind of traveling. Twice I completely allowed myself to be guided or led. I had no itinerary whatsoever, except an end date to return home. The first time I did this was in 1997, when I drove to Taos, New Mexico for nine days. The second time was 2001, when I sold 75% of my things and bought a six month round trip ticket to London. While at each of these places, serendipity led me to the most fantastic, wonderful experiences. A third trip, to Paris in the summer of 2007, was a bit more planned out, as it was a study-abroad with my university. However, in the desire to save money, instead of staying in the 3-star hotel with the rest of my classmates, I stayed with a Parisian, renting a bed in his apartment. This saved me a third of the cost of the hotel, but the best part was getting to practice my French and pretend to live as a Parisian each night. Patrick and his girlfriend, Rebecca, invited me to join them on a trek to visit her mother in the countryside southwest of Paris. That was the serendipity of the trip, and I had a wonderful time. I learned so much about how the French eat, which leads to the next connection--

In the Diet to Live For ©, I believe that a healthy way of eating is one that consists of good fats, humanely raised meats, organic or naturally raised vegetables and fruits, and whole grains. In that order. A diet high in fats and low (or lower) in carbohydrates is the way to go, in my opinion. There have been several studies recently that show that saturated fats do not contribute to heart disease, contrary to what we’ve been told. A calorie is not a calorie is not a calorie. It really depends on the macro-nutrient (protein, fat, or carbohydrate). People who eat in excess of 3000 calories per day (most of which are fat and protein, and only a small percentage is carbohydrate) lose weight. This seems to go against all wisdom, but I’m seeing it first hand. Jimmy Moore of Livin’ La Vida Low-Carb lost 180 pounds on a low-carb diet! Others have controlled their type 2 diabetes and gone off their meds this way. Of course, many doctors still spout the admonition to stay away from fat. In the past thirty years of low-fat diets, however, we have gotten fatter and more diseased, instead of less. Shouldn’t that be a warning that something’s not right?

Not everyone is going to limit their carbohydrates as much as, say a diabetic, but I think that if we limit the carbs to those from whole grains and natural, unprocessed starchy vegetables, that our health will improve. I also believe that we need to refuse to eat highly refined, processed foods made from white flour and preservatives. In order to do that we need to eat more food prepared at home. In other countries, many people eat this way. Their traditional foodways are much healthier than our way of eating.

The connection here is that with location independence, I can explore these traditional cultures and their foods. By using open-ended travel, I am not tempted to stick to what I think I should, but can follow the serendipity to endless new adventures, and to finding new ways of connecting and thinking about food.
In the next few months, I hope you’ll follow me as I get started on my new life following my passions. I’ll have more posts on the de-cluttering process I’m still going through, as well as comments on food and health. I haven’t figured out how to get on the road yet with an apartment and three cats, but I’d love to have company along the way.

As Everett Bogue says at the end of each of his posts, one of the best ways to get blogs out to the world is to like them on Facebook and retweet them on Twitter. If you are inspired by my dreams, please share my posts with all your friends. I’m hoping I inspire you to follow the serendipity to your own dreams and passions.

I'm losing weight and feeling great!

2010-05-27T10:43:00.002-05:00

On May 18, I started Atkins Induction, or Phase 1. This means no more than 20g of carbohydrates/day. It took me 2 weeks before this to get myself ready, by reducing my CHO (carbohydrate) intake to 60g/day, then 40g/day. So now it's been 10 days. This morning I weighed myself on my new bathroom scale bought yesterday, and I weigh 199lb. This is a loss of about 6-8lb (I don't know how much I weighed when I started, but in April I was around 207). My waist measurement is down .5" and my hips are down 1".

I'm so excited, over even such a little loss. I've felt great the whole time, and while I do miss the crunch of chips and crackers, I'm not craving them. A few days ago, I bought the sticks for measuring ketosis in the urine and have been in ketosis (40-160) the entire time, even when I added 2 large strawberries to my smoothie one day, and an underripe nectarine to it another. (On Induction, you're not supposed to eat any fruits, while your body is getting used to using fat as an energy source.)

For now, I'll continue with Induction probably for at least another week (you're supposed to stay on it for 2 weeks, minimum). My blood sugars are fantastic! Generally between 114-130 fasting in the morning (I seem to have dawn phenomenon), but around lunchtime it'll be between 95-114, and the most it has been in 154, after I drank a cup of milk in the evening. 154 used to be my low, not my high. Pretty good, eh?

Have to go get the study room key and prepare for my 2 English conversation students now. Talksoon!

I'm leaving on a jet plane

2010-05-18T15:17:00.003-05:00

So, I have big news. I know, I know. I don't post for 5 months, and then only when there's something big, right? Well, school's been crazy. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Oh, yeah, the news: I am finally going to take that sabbatical I always say I want to and go "walk-about" this fall. Claire is ready to move out and get her own place and is working toward that end. I'm so burned out on school it's not even funny, and have decided to postpone going to grad school for a year. Summer school is on, however, and I am signed up for two anthropology courses (anthro of religion, and family and kinship). My lease isn't up until the end of August. Am debating staying through the middle of September so I can be here on Claire's birthday, but then, I'm outahere!

What I need now is a portable income to pay for my travel. Am looking at ways to make money online, and one is to do proofreading/editing. Two of my current students would like me to be able to continue to help them. Found http://www.workaway.info/ for places to volunteer all over the world in exchange for room and board; I figured I could hop from place to place and that would feed my need to meet new people and do it cheap. Yes, there's always the couchsurfing thing, but I like this idea better. If you haven't seen it, go to the site. You have to join to participate but you can search for free. I did a search one night for any type of job, anywhere in the world and got over 2500 hits! One was a husky farm inside the Arctic Circle (won't be going there, too cold for me) and a dog hostel in Holland. Some people are renovating 300 yr old French farmhouses, some are running guest houses (in Turkey!). I don't think I'm up for the construction part, but I can paint, or cook, or garden, or even babysit.

I need this trip, and I refuse to let my fears scare me out of it this time. I'm planning on being gone for a year, but I'm putting no limits on it. Could be gone 3 months or 2 years, who knows? I might end up liking the nomadic life, or get it out of my system and come back and settle down somewhere with a little homestead and grow my own food. That one is actually one of my dreams, but it doesn't fit very well with being a nomad!

Have you seen this site? Chris Guillebeau has a goal of visiting every country in the world before he turns 35. He just turned 32 and has around 60 countries left. I just bought his travel hacking ebooks (Frequent Flyer Master and Be Your Own Travel Ninja), in which he shows you how to fly frequently for less. This guy buys round-the-world tickets and has so many miles he recently flew to Asia 1st class on them. Wow.

As you can tell, I'm all excited. It's been a while since I was really excited about something. I have a goal and am heading for it! I'm totally, utterly freaked out by it, too. Exciting and scary at the same time. What more could a person want, eh?

It's my birthday!

2010-01-26T12:50:00.002-06:00

So far a great day. My son came over this morning to hug me and gave me a $25 gift card to AMC theatres. We only ever go to the movies at the Parks Mall. I got a card from my sister yesterday, and an email from the other sister today, plus lots of well wishes on facebook. I paid my cell phone bill with the refund money from taxes, so now we have a phone again.

All is well!

Curry Stir-Fry

2010-01-15T19:18:00.003-06:00

I made a low-carb stir-fry yesterday from leftovers. Not really anything new, or special, but boy, was it tasty. Let me tell you how I did it. Chopped up some shallots and sauteed them in a mix of bacon grease, duck fat, and ghee. Nothing special about the type of fats I used, just what I had handy. Then I added some cut up crimini mushrooms, and when those were beginning to brown up and caramelize nicely, added a carrot, chopped up pretty fine (wanted it to cook quickly).

I wanted something to spice it all up with, so I took the Madras curry in the cabinet and sprinkled some over everything. Didn't seem like enough, so I opened the "pour" tab and probably added about a total of one tablespoon of the curry powder. Then I threw in some sliced sirloin tip steak I'd cooked in the morning. Once everything looked like it was heating up, I threw in some green beans I'd cooked up the day before, along with two chopped up cloves of garlic. The garlic wasn't minced tiny, but not too chunky, either. Kept tossing everything about, and finally, I added two leaves of kale, washed and coarsely chopped.

My nonstick skillet doesn't have a lid, and the ones I have aren't really big enough, but after I had stirred the kale around enough to get coated with oil and begin to wilt, I put my dutch oven lid down over it (fit inside the pan!) for about a minute. Gave up on that, took the lid off, and kept stirring. Added some salt sprinkled over the kale. After another minute or two, it was done, and I plated it up.

Served it to myself with half of a delicata squash I'd bought at Whole Foods Market the day before. I followed the directions on the sticker which said to cut it in half, remove the seeds, and bake it cut side down in a covered, oiled dish. I used my old square Corningware dish (got it in the 70s). The whole thing was delish, and even though I was eating beef, I drank a glass of cheap cabernet sauvignon with it. Yum!

Tonight, I did it again, only this time I didn't try to steam the kale, but just kept stirfrying. I added some sour cream to it on the plate, and skipped the squash and wine. It was just as good as the first one I made, and the sour cream really added another layer of flavor I like.

I recommend you try this any time you need a quick, healthy supper. Just dig around in the fridge and pull it all out and see what looks like it might go together. You could use garam masala, curry powder, or just plain salt and pepper. It gets leftovers out of the fridge!

Blood sugar woes

2009-12-28T16:40:00.003-06:00

On Christmas I fixed mashed potatoes, gravy, StoveTop stuffing, and leftover roast beef (I had frozen it a couple of weeks ago). It was pretty good, but the potatoes didn't come out so well as usual. I was in a hurry and thought they were done. Drained them and then, when they wouldn't go through the ricer, gave up and put them back in the colander and nuked them for a minute. They just didn't taste very good, but with gravy and celery salt, weren't too bad. I've finally accepted the fact, however, that I can't eat them. They spike my blood glucose (bg) too much.

I don't know why this is so, because I can eat a baked potato loaded with goodies (you know: butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon) and my bg is fine. I can even eat oven fries with little problem. Mashed has plenty of butter and cream or half and half, so you'd think the fats would ameliorate the spike, but no. Waah. Guess I'll have to make the fauxtatoes with cauliflower from now on, for me, at least.

Something I've been eating more of lately is what Jamie Van Eaton calls "Loaded Broccoli." Basically everything you'd put on a baked potato, put it on cooked broccoli instead. Yum. Very good and great for the blood sugar levels. Thanks, Jamie!

So yesterday, I ate leftovers for lunch: mashed potatoes, gravy, and roast beef. Before lunch, my bg had been around 100. After lunch, it spiked up to 220! I quickly ate a tablespoon of virgin coconut oil (right off the spoon) and it dropped about 25 points. Then a little later, I ate a pan fried pork chop with some sour cream. An hour and a half later, my bg was 99! For dinner, I ate 5 chocolate truffles (about 16 grams of carbs), and then homemade chili with kidney beans. When I went to bed shortly after, about 10:30pm, my bg was around 109. Not bad.

Then, this morning, my fasting glucose was 155. Go figure! Today, my bg is similar to yesterday's. I had 2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices of bacon, and a grapefruit for breakfast. Claire wanted to go to McDonald's around noon, so I got a McChicken and swapped the white bread bun for 2 slices of my 100% whole wheat bread. My bg (1 1/2 hours later) was around 120. I'll count that as a victory. Just no more mashed potatoes for me!

Am almost finished reading "Good Calories, Bad Calories," by Gary Taubes. I'd heard about this book from several low-carb sites, including Jimmy Moore's "Livin la vida low carb," and it is an excellent book. Slow reading, because it's about 500 pages and full of seemingly ALL the history of the study of obesity and diabetes, as well as heart disease. I highly recommend this book to help anyone understand why limiting carbohydrates is necessary for all of us, not just those with diabetes.

Post graduation musings

2009-12-20T14:33:00.002-06:00

Had a scare last week. Seems that when I filled out the form to come back seeking a second degree (to be able to take the course I need for grad school), they changed my major from interdisciplinary studies to anthropology. When they went to award my degree, they couldn't, because I now hadn't fulfilled all the requirements for a degree in anthropology! What a mess. I'll go in tomorrow and make sure they know this is a second bachelor's degree, so they won't change my first degree plan. Sheesh!

Grades

2009-12-17T13:44:00.001-06:00

They haven't 'officially' posted the grades for the fall semester, but I made 2 As, 1 B, and 1 C (in Social Statistics). I'm happy.

I have a degree!

2009-12-15T13:08:00.003-06:00

I graduated this semester, finally. I now have a Bachelor of Arts in Interdisciplinary Studies. After so much time studying, and waffling about, wondering what to do next, I can say with certainty that actually graduating feels really good.

Now that I have the degree, I'm not stopping there. I'll be back at UTA in the spring, taking two more anthropology courses as a degreed undergraduate. One of the classes, biological anthropology, is required for the Master's program in anthropology, and the other is a good cultural anthro class ("Visualizing Culture"). I still need to take the GRE sometime next semester, and then hopefully I'll be admitted to the graduate program.

My goal is to study traditional foodways in the pursuit of changing the Western world's diet from predominantly refined and processed foods, to one that is more healthy. My own diet is still evolving, and I admit I still eat some of that refined and processed food, but I am working on eating better. Studying food and culture will hopefully keep me on track.

Food and Culture

2009-12-15T13:07:00.000-06:00

Food and culture: yes, I love food! I’ve been studying different diets for a while, now, and especially since I became diabetic. I believe that a return to a more traditionally prepared, whole foods diet would be best for me and others, too. I’m not advocating going back to the hunter-gatherer diet of only meat and vegetables, but any cereal grains eaten should be whole (not refined) and prepared according to more ancient traditions. That is, soaking overnight in an acid medium (like yogurt, whey, or lemon juice) in water makes their nutrients more bioavailable. Meats are ok, but should be from humanely raised animals (pasture-raised beef and hogs, free range poultry, etc.). Milk should be raw and from small herds raised in a natural manner. Lots of naturally farmed vegetables of all types, both starchy and non-starchy, are essential to good health. Organic is best, but the organic certification is difficult to obtain and maintain. If farmers use a basically organic method, whether or not they are certified, this is adequate, in my opinion. Locally found foods are best, too, for the environment. It takes a lot of fossil fuels to farm foods the way they are now and then transportation of them to far away markets uses even more. We need to find alternative energy sources; until then, eating more locally helps.

Worry

2009-12-15T12:57:00.001-06:00

Worry. We all do it. I’m especially good at hiding my worry, but it affects me strongly. Most of my worries are related to money—not having enough of it. For example, towards the end of the semester, my student loans run out, and I have to find creative ways to pay my bills. At that time I am frequently late on my payments, which adds another dimension of worry—will I be evicted? Will they turn off my electricity or phone? Now I have even more to worry about: graduating from college, and getting into graduate school, my 18 year old daughter’s impending flight from home to live her own life. I never thought I’d experience “empty nest” syndrome, but the specter is looming over me.

This morning I finally embarrassed my daughter. We were in the drive-through line at Starbuck’s to get her morning dose of caffeine and sugar, and someone cut in front of us. I know she didn’t realize she was line-cutting, but my anxiety over possibly being late to class had me jumping out of the car and telling her to back up, it was our turn! My daughter was so upset with me, she actually threatened to never give me a ride to school again if I did that again. In all of her teen years, I’ve done things to try to embarrass her, but she took it all in stride—until today. Huzzah! My mission as a mother has been fulfilled! At last I have given her payback for all the little embarrassments a child heaps upon her parents in her short life.

Guess it’s time to stop worrying and learn to love the chaos (apologies to “Dr. Strangelove”). There will always be something to worry about, and it doesn’t actually solve the problem, does it? How do you keep from worrying? I’d really like to know.

I'm Still Here, Really

2009-10-26T10:20:00.003-05:00

Past time for an update, I'm thinking. My teeth weren't thru with me last summer. One of the fillings apparently had more decay than the dentist realized, and I had to have another root canal. Still haven't had the crowns and bridge done yet. Knock on wood, my teeth are doing ok for the moment.

Took 2 anthropology classes last summer (Civilizations of South America & Global Cultures), and am taking 4 this fall (Social Stats, Food & Culture, Principles of Archaeology, and INTS capstone). Am set to graduate in December, finally. I had decided to pursue a Master's in Anthropology, and wanted to start in January, but I've been told I may not be admitted until Fall 2010. Bummer. No problem, I just need to figure out what will work best for me until then. I still need to take BioAnthropology and the GRE. I'll either postpone graduation until May so I have enough financial aid to take the class, or I'll challenge the financial aid office to give me more money so I can return as a degreed undergrad.

Claire got her driver license a couple of weeks ago and has taken over the car. Now she takes me to school. Hooray for not having to deal with parking! She turned 18 last month and is thrilled. Now she's legal and she's enjoying every minute! I have some sadness over her newfound independence, but I know that this is what I've been waiting for. Now I feel more able to travel extensively than before, knowing that she can take care of herself. Maybe that's what this delay in starting grad school is about--it gives me time to pursue my interest in living among other cultures than my own. Hmmm. Food for thought, eh?

Not lost, really

2009-06-26T18:35:00.003-05:00

Wow, so much time has passed since I last posted. I had promised myself I would keep this blog up. I have an excuse, really. They say we should have no excuses, so maybe an explanation would be a better choice of words. Earlier this month, I went to the dentist as a last-ditch effort to figure out why I was feeling so poorly. Turns out I had some serious decay and infection going on in my mouth. On June 8th I had one tooth extracted, and another one had a root canal. Then a couple of weeks later I had 3 more teeth filled (refilled, to be more precise).

I feel so much better! I had no idea how much your teeth and their health (or not) can affect your entire system. My blood sugars are beginning to drop, finally, and I have energy again. I am so grateful to have my health back. Of course, now I need 4 crowns, at $1100 each, but I know that it'll all work out. I used my student loans to get the earlier work done, and the next couple of semesters of loans will cover the rest.

Another new cat!

2009-02-04T11:49:00.005-06:00

On December 21st, Claire and I found another kitten in the parking lot of our apartment complex. It was bitterly cold that night, and she was so little and cold and hungry. Of course, we snatched her up and brought her inside. Took us a while to catch her, but some cat food did the trick. I don't have a picture to put up yet, but I will get one off the camera soon.

Hunni (short for Princess Hunnicut) is a long-haired, short legged, stubby little cat. Her fur is white with tabby patches. Claire has informed me that we now have two cats of the same basic coloring as the ones we found homes for! The only difference is that the genders have switched. I'm told that we are supposed to have five cats, and of the colors we have. Everytime I suggest to Claire that we find a home for Hunni (Teddy is HERS, she says), she says, "Do you want to find another kitten in the parking lot? If you get rid of her, you will." So, for now, Hunni is part of the household.

It's taken till yesterday for Hoju to fully accept her, and vice versa. She is going to be a dominant cat in her own right, and she has refused to back down to him, even though he smacks her around (Gabriel at least submitted, even though he wasn't any too happy about it). Yesterday, we found her lying down, and chirrupping, with Hoju bathing her. Hooray! Monster only smacks her occasionally now (she also still smacks Teddy). She really didn't want any more cats in the house to take away from her attention. Precious loves everyone, as usual. He's such a peacemaker.

Doctors and Diabetes

2009-02-04T11:34:00.003-06:00

Well, I finally capitulated and went to a doctor on January 30. I'm taking metformin (the dreaded drugs) and see a dietician today. That is giving me a lot of anxiety, because I am unsure what he/she is going to tell me to do. I do not subscribe to what most doctors believe, namely that a low fat, including saturated fat, diet is the way to go. My parents followed such a diet since the 1960s and my father still died of heart disease. Mother made her own jellies, using only 1/4 the amount of sugar typically used. We didn't eat fried foods (much), we ate whole wheat bread and good foods.

I, of course, started in on the typical standard American diet (SAD) as soon as I got out of her reach. 30 years later, I now have diabetes, caused by my high fat/high carbohydrate diet. Since I was diagnosed last February, I have tried to eat a lowish carb diet (around 100g/day), lots of good protein, and plenty of fats (olive oil, butter, cream, virgin coconut oil, lard...but not polyunsaturated oils). Aside from my blood sugars still being too high, I feel better than I have in years.

Let's hope that my new medical "team" will help me get my blood sugars under control and down where they belong, so that I can continue to heal myself.

Catching Up

2008-12-15T15:47:00.003-06:00

It's been 3 months since I last posted. I swore I'd keep up with this blog this time. Well, like a dieter who blows her diet and gets back on track, here I am!

This fall has been fairly routine, with me tutoring again at UTA, but taking no classes this time. I had one class I had taken an incomplete on, and then didn't write the paper, so I've failed it and still have 3 hours to go to graduate with my BA in Interdisciplinary Studies. I think I'm afraid to graduate. My student loans come due this month, and I've asked for a deferment for another year. Tutoring is barely bringing in enough money to pay the bills, and that doesn't include loan payments. I'll continue tutoring next semester, and apply for financial aid for next year, which starts with the summer sessions. Hopefully I can write the paper this spring so I can fine-tune it during the class next fall and then actually graduate.

One thing I've discovered about myself this fall is how much I love to cook, and how much I want to study traditional foods of various cultures. This interest began with the cookbook, Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon, and has been nurtured by my diagnosis of diabetes. I find I feel so much better when I stay away from processed foods, including fast food. That's not to say I don't still want them sometimes, but I feel better eating whole, natural foods. Since I've been cooking a lot more this fall (including making my own stocks, soups, crackers, etc.), I've come to dream about having a homestead where I can grow most of my food. Eating healthily on foodstamps is a challenge. Now, don't get me wrong: I still want to travel, but I also want my own haven. Is that a contradiction? Can't I have both? I think so, especially if I enlist the aid of others, like my children.

How can I create income streams from my diverse interests? I'm not sure, but I'm interested in finding out. The other day, I made some almond biscotti from scratch (it's so easy!), and when a friend tasted them, she actually bought the whole batch from me for $10! That got me to thinking: how can I sell these and make a little extra money doing something I love? I know that to sell food properly, you need a food handler's license or certificate, and you need to have your kitchen inspected. I doubt mine would pass, since I have 4 cats.

Oh, about the cats! (I know, I'm all over the place, but for those of you who know me personally, this topic shift should come as no surprise.) At the last post, I had found homes for 3 of our 5 cats, and we had only Hoju and Monster. Well, Precious wasn't doing very well at adapting to our neighbor's very busy household, so we offered to take him back. He is much happier with other cats around, and he's used to Claire and me. He's still very skittish, but he's happier. About a month ago, I found a small kitten in the parking lot near our mailboxes. He came right up to me, and there was no one around, so I scooped him up and brought him home. He was about 6 weeks old. We figure he was born around the 1st of October. He's black, but has what I call 'shadow stripes' that show he's got a tabby in his background. Claire named him Edward (after the vampire in Twilight), but mostly we call him Teddy or Tedward. All kittens are cute, and Teddy's no exception. When he wants to cuddle, he approaches you purring loudly and settles down (beside you, on your chest, next to your shoulder on the sofa arm). He adores Hoju and harrasses him constantly. Hoju is teaching him the fine art of cat fighting/playing, but gets very frustrated at being sat on all the time. Poor baby!

OK, I'm going to quit for now, and go back to reading Barbara Sher's Scanner at Play blog. She's so inspiring! Her next Scanner retreat is in Languedoc, France. I wanna go!

Change of Direction

2008-08-30T11:34:00.002-05:00

Things change very fast for me. Yesterday afternoon I was finishing packing and sorting and wondering if I'd have enough time to get it all done before I had to be out of the apartment by Tuesday. Then Claire and I talked, and yesterday evening we decided not to go on this trip. Oh, we still both want to travel, and intend to. We'll just stay here with a home base, and take short trips around the country to see friends.

Why did we decide to stay? Well, it just seemed like we were fighting an uphill battle to get it all done. Money was running out, we didn't have a good foster home for Hoju and Monster, our "estate sale" was a bust, and we were both dragging our feet. We are both of the opinion that if what you decide on is right, then everything falls into place easily. If you have to fight to get it done, maybe you should reconsider. And so we did.

I'm still a little in shock, but actually happy about the decision. I don't have to ditch my kombucha brewing, and I can continue to explore my low-carb cooking. My blood sugar is steadily decreasing with the low-carb diet and the exercise I get walking to do my errands. All is well, and we are moving forward in a different direction.

Thank you to everyone who supported us emotionally when we decided to take this trip, and I hope you will continue to support us as we work through the next stage of our lives.

It's Time to Go!

2008-08-28T13:15:00.002-05:00

Well, it's almost time for us to take off on our walk-about. We still have a house full of furniture and "stuff" that needs a new home, and then we have to schlep what we are keeping (a couple of pieces of furniture and some boxes) to storage. My son is taking most of my kitchen for his new apartment. Hopefully he'll let me have some of it back when I return, lol! At least it'll be put to good use, as he tells me he wants to learn how to cook more.

So much left to do, and we have 4 days till we're supposed to be out of the apartment. Yikes!

Our first stop is going to be Columbia, SC, to visit a friend from my massage therapy days. We've missed each other in the last 7 years (has it been that long??) so we're both looking forward to catching up. Claire wants to meet her, as she also likes the supernatural, and was in the Air Force for several years. Claire's best friend is going into the Air Force after school, and Claire wants to know what it's going to be like for her.

After SC, we're not sure where we're headed. I'm wanting to head north along the coast, to see all the fall foliage. Wouldn't mind staying close to the ocean, either. Once we get north a ways, we'll head over to South Dakota to visit one of my best friends from high school, before it gets too cold. She's warned me not to come January thru March, and I'm figuring December won't be all that wonderful either.

Everyone stay positive and send us good vibes for a wonderful trip!

New Homes for the Cats

2008-08-05T10:38:00.003-05:00

Well, 3 of the 5 cats have new homes, now. Gabriel and Jazzy went home with Su and Timmy, and Precious went to Kevin and Kerry and their brood. All the cats are still adjusting, but I know that they will love their new homes.

The 2 that remain, Hoju and Monster, are a bit confused. Early in the morning, I hear Monster calling for the others, and she glues herself to us whenever we sit down. Claire thinks she is wondering if she's next to leave. Sad. Even sadder that we will have to leave them next month when we begin traveling. I'd love to take them with us, but that's just not feasible.

Chris Guillebeau is my hero!

2008-07-30T17:10:00.003-05:00

This man has a website/blog called The Art of Nonconformity and I believe it should be required reading for anyone interested in living an authentic life. Or anyone who likes the idea of making a iving without a job. You know, like me. Chris loves to travel, and has visited at least 86 countries so far. His goal is to visit every country in the world.

Other interesting sites I've discovered today: Freeganism, RoundtheWorld, OneWorld Travel . Check them out.

Need homes for the cats

2008-07-27T08:05:00.002-05:00

As you know, we have 5 cats. Can't go on walk-about with 5 cats, so we are looking for new forever homes for 3 of them (Gabriel, Precious, and Jazzy). Then we will need a foster home for Hoju and Monster for six months, because we just don't want to give these two up.

A little about our babies:

Gabriel is a Maine Coon mix, neutered male, almost 3-1/2 yrs old. He is a dominant cat (except Hoju is the king of the house, and Gabriel hates that), very loving, very big (when he wants attention, he sits on you, and you just can't ignore almost 20 pounds of cat in your lap!). Loves to have you throw small toys for him to chase. Doesn't fetch too well, so if you play this game, you'll get in shape.

Jazzy is a black domestic shorthair, spayed female, 3 yrs old the end of September. She's quiet and fairly independent, although she loves attention. Her little quirk is that when you come up to her, she has to sniff your finger. Once she does that, she rubs her face along your finger, from her nose to her ear, and then you're "allowed" to pet her. Until she sniffs, she'll slink away.

Precious is almost 2-1/2 yrs old, neutered male, tabby domestic shorthair. He is NOT a dominant cat, very shy. I knew the woman who owned his mama, and I know he wasn't abused, but he seems to think that people are out to get him and will dart away if you approach. Once he knows you, he'll stop a little ways away, and if you put your hand out, he'll bump up to be petted. Just don't make any sudden moves, or he's outtathere, lol. This very shy boy, however, will get on the bed with you in the morning and lay his head in your hand, and let you rub him all over. He seems to feel that if you're horizontal, you're not a threat. Go figure.

If any one of you out there reading this blog would like to adopt one or more of these wonderful cats, or knows someone who might, let me know.

Can a Scot be a gypsy?

2008-07-27T08:02:00.003-05:00

Consider this the official news: my daughter Claire and I are going on walk-about, and are going to be gypsies in about a month.

Several of you know how much I love traveling and meeting new people, and I can't stay home another year. Claire is being homeschooled now, and what can further her education better than traveling around the United States for several months? She is writing a book (supernatural horror fiction) and I'm hoping she can get some of her short stories published. Her lifetime goal is to be a working author (J.K. Rowling is her hero). I also want to write and be published.

We're planning to sell most of our junk, keep the treasures and store them, and visit friends all over the country. I will post to this blog regularly, so our friends can keep track of us, and we'll still have our cell phones. (Isn't online bill pay a wonderful thing?)

By the way, you can post comments as anonymous, if you don't want to sign up with blogspot. If you have a gmail or yahoo account, I think you can post comments with that id as well. If you post anonymously, would you sign your comment with your name, so I know who you are?

In about 2 weeks or so, I'll have an "estate sale" in the apartment to sell stuff. I'll let y'all know when in case those of you in the Dallas/Fort Worth area want to come shopping and help us fund our travels *wink*.

I'm still trying to sell the van ('89 GMC Vandura conversion), so if you know of anyone who needs one, send 'em my way, ok? I know there is someone out there who really needs a behemoth like the Enterprise, and I'm willing to bargain hard.

Wish us well--we're on our way!

Boy, did I fall off the (low-carb) wagon!

2008-07-14T07:45:00.004-05:00

Here's what happened to me recently: I was eating fairly low carb for a while (100g or less a day, most days way less), and then the other day I totally went "off the wagon" and ate a lot of carbs. I ordered Chinese (vegetable egg foo yong) and while it took me 2 days to eat the order, the 2nd day I ate a whole plate full of fried rice. Man, was I sick! Diarrhea, mainly, with bloating and just plain feeling like crap (sorry, TMI!).

So, I went on a carb-fast for a day. Was beginning to feel better, and I could tell my body was rearranging itself to burn fats, not carbs, for energy. The next day I went to a burger joint and ate a huge hamburger (bun and all) and a lot of spicy fries (think there was even breading on them). I haven't been that sick in a while. I would bet my blood sugar went thru the roof! I just cannot eat that much wheat. I'd been eating a small amount of potatoes with plenty of fat, and never felt bad like this.

To top off the whole thing, I ran out of my virgin coconut oil and had to do without it for 2 weeks. I didn't realize how good that stuff really was for me. It satisfied cravings and was helping me to resist the carbs. Now that I think about it, I started in on the carbs again after I ran out of the VCO. Coincidence? I think not!

The holiday is over--back to work, you!

2008-07-07T10:24:00.002-05:00

Back to work today, although I hardly consider tutoring “work.” How cool is it that I love my job so much I’d even do it for free (and have)? Today I am helping one off my regular students with French II. It’s the first day of the second summer semester here at UTA. Later, I’ll be helping my Chinese international student with her English pronunciation skills.

I posted back on June 25th that I was not used to working all day any more, and that riding my bike to school was kicking my butt. Today I can honestly say that things are better. I have more stamina, it only takes me a few minutes to cool down after riding to school in the morning, my legs don't shake nearly as much, and I've shaved five minutes off my ride. I must be getting in shape! Something else I did was to take some time off to rest and regroup in the middle of the week. Wednesday seems to be a very quiet tutoring day, so I just took it off last week. Helps when I'm at school for almost twelve hours on Monday and Tuesday, and then Thursday's long day doesn't feel quite so interminable.

One of my best friends from high school has been diagnosed with uterine cancer, and is undergoing an aggressive protocol of treatment. Four other friends from high school (including my other best friend) and I are planning to go visit her the weekend of July 18th. I haven’t seen three of these girls since 1974, and the other three in over 20 years. What a reunion this will be.

Low Carb?

2008-07-06T08:30:00.004-05:00

I tried an experiment yesterday--I ate carbs. OK, so it was less of an experiment and more of a craving. I've been eating a few carbs every day, but have limited them to around 75-100g max. For someone doing "very low carb" this is a LOT of carbs; for someone eating the typical SAD diet (Standard American Diet: I know, a little redundancy there), this isn't much.
OK, so here is what I ate yesterday, carb-wise:

fried egg wrap in a low-carb tortilla (only 6 net carbs, not bad)
about 2 servings of those name brand rippled potato chips: 30g
4 digestive biscuits topped with my own carob icing (no added sugars): ~40g

This is usually the max amount of carbs I'll eat in a day. But wait, there's more!

Then I went really crazy and fixed a small pan of cornbread (no sugar added in MY cornbread) and a skillet dinner of browned onions, ground beef, and 2 cups of pinto beans with a sauce of ketchup, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and the juice from the beans. I ate half the pan of cornbread (2 servings) and about half the skillet dinner. I'm not even going to count up all the carbs in dinner!

Although I half expected it, I didn't have any intestinal complaints last night. Thank you, goddess! I woke up this morning in the middle of a night sweat (I'm menopausal, but haven't had any night sweats in a while), only slightly bloated, and I'm a little gassy (TMI? Sorry!). My question is, did the carbs contribute to the night sweat and later hot flash, or was this coincidental? After all, it's summer in North Texas, right?

I haven't been able to check my blood sugar to see what this episode did, but I imagine it went through the roof. I notice that I woke up thirsty. The dry mouth/thirst had subsided when I went low carb, and I even found that I didn't need so much liquid during the day.

Can't wait till next week so I can go buy some glucose monitoring test strips. It's time to take control of my health. Guess I need to go read Cleochatra's blog at and get inspired to stay low-carb. Jimmy Moore's blog helps, too. Thank you, Jamie and Jimmy. I'm so grateful you're out there for us!

All About Matilda

2008-07-02T22:19:00.003-05:00

Perhaps a little info about my trip to Paris last summer is in order, since I posted the pics. I know I posted that it was a study-abroad trip with UTA (the University of Texas at Arlington), and was for 2 weeks. The class I took in conjunction with the trip was all about the globalization of Paris, and why the French built it the way it is today. I enjoyed learning why the Arc de Triomphe and La Defense were built, and how Hauptmann standardized and formalized Paris’s architecture so that it could grow and become a world power. However, as always, my focus was on the culture.

There were nine of us in all, including the professor, and the group all stayed in the same 3-star hotel on the Rue St. Antoine du Fauberg. I found a Parisian who rented out rooms in his apartment in the 12^th arrondissement, for about a third of the cost. He gave me his daughter’s room (she was with her mother for the summer, I think), and I slept in her bunk bed for twelve nights. I had to go downstairs to use the toilet, and take a bath or shower in my host’s bathroom, also on the first floor, but it only cost me €20 per night, including breakfast. That was only €3 more than a youth hostel, and much more private.

Every morning my host, Patrick (pronounced “pah-TREEK”) would run across the street to the boulangerie and buy a baguette for our breakfast. I had tea with milk and sugar, he had hot chocolate, and we both slathered butter and preserves on our halved baguette pieces. Yum. He would ask me what we were going to do that day—in French—and I would attempt to tell him, also in French. He spoke a little English and was able to translate unfamiliar words for me into French, but he always put an emphasis on my learning his language. Once breakfast was finished, I took off for the Dugommier métro station. His apartment was only two blocks from the station, and it was only three stops from Place de la Nation, and from there it was a quarter mile walk to the hotel, where I met my group and we began our day. Of course, once I met the group, I had to walk the same quarter mile back to Nation to catch the métro to our destination for the day, but good exercise, right?

I have been asked to explain the significance of Matilda, the fairy doll I carried with me everywhere while in Paris (see pics). My daughter really wanted to go to Paris with me. She’s an artist, and her greatest desire is to see the Louvre museum, and the Eiffel Tower. Since she couldn’t go this time, she made a doll from scraps of fabric and wire, beads and yarn, and named her Matilda the fairy. (She painted the eyes with black nail polish!) She told me to let Matilda represent her on the trip, and to take her picture all over Paris. And so I did. Matilda became the group mascot. If I put her in my backpack and we were taking group pics, one of my classmates would ask, “Where’s Matilda? Don’t we want her to be in this picture?” I must admit, a few in the group thought I was nuts, I think, but I really didn’t care.

I have many stories about Matilda, but there is one time that I would like to tell you about now. We visited many museums, but l’Orangerie was on the agenda that day. This museum near the Louvre houses two rooms full of Claude Monet’s murals of the water lilies at Giverny (yes, they WERE that awesome!). My backpack was too large, and security asked me to check it and not carry it in the museum. No problem, that just took a load off my back for an hour or two. I went to the desk, got my claim check and turned to go and then remembered that Matilda was inside! I unzipped my pack, pulled Matilda out, and gently extricated her from the tea towel that I used to protect her. I looked up and the two women behind the counter looked at me, puzzled. I explained in French that this was Matilda, a doll my daughter made for me to travel with, and that I had to take her picture in the museum. They were delighted, and asked me several questions. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, when I glanced over and saw that my professor was frowning, because the entire group was waiting for me. He liked to brief us before he turned us loose, telling us when to meet up to go, what to look for, etc., and I was holding up the group. I was thrilled, because I had just had one of those “cultural” moments that I live for.

Stay tuned for more of Matilda’s adventures in Paris!

My Paris pictures are up!

2008-06-28T14:45:00.002-05:00

I finally got the pictures from my Paris study-abroad trip of July 2007 up! See the link at the left of the post, under favorite links. Let me know if you have any trouble viewing them. They're posted to multiply.com, under Erratica.

Go enjoy the pictures, and I'll be back soon to post something erudite and intelligent (stop laughing, I can do it!) later. Have to go tutor a student in French now.

I'm not used to working anymore!

2008-06-25T09:20:00.003-05:00

I've been in school for the past 3 and a half years, and before that I was a massage therapist. I'm not used to working all day long anymore. I've tutored almost 20 hours a week for the past couple of weeks, and I'm here to tell you that I'm tired! Of course, part of that exhaustion might be the fact that I'm cycling or walking to school in the Texas summer heat, then spending up to 12 hours inside the UTA library, which is kept at meat locker temperature during the summer. It's a wonder I am not sick...that's the power of positive thinking for you. I have limited myself to working 4 days a week, and usually only tutor 5-6 hours each day, but my appointments have been so spread out, I have to be there all day.
Today I have a much-needed break. Had only one student, and she called this morning to cancel because she had a headache. I'll recuperate today and be back at school tomorrow for a 9am appointment, ending with one at 6pm.
Posted some pics and links today, and signed up for Google Adsense. The links I'll put on that will be ones I use and trust, like amazon.com, or barnesandnoble.com. My favorite links are ones I visit frequently, and so are the blogs. The pictures up now are of my five cats, and one of my daughter, Claire. I'll post a pic of my 19 yr old son Garrett soon.
Signing off for today. Talksoon!

Are You a Scanner?

2008-06-19T10:17:00.000-05:00

I am a scanner. According to Barbara Sher (http://www.barbarasher.com), who coined the term in her book, Refuse to Choose: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love, a scanner is someone who is interested in many things, a person who wants to live many lives. A diver, on the other hand, is someone who can focus in on one thing. Many doctors, scientists, engineers, etc., are divers. They can spend their entire lives delving into their chosen profession. Scanners want to do at least a little of everything. That’s me. I have long considered myself a “Jill of all trades, master of none.” The PC version of that is a Renaissance Woman, like Da Vinci was the original Renaissance Man. He painted, invented, sculpted, drew, and who knows what else he did?

That said, here are some of my interests and loves: cooking (especially baking desserts), cooking low-carb (now that I have high blood sugar), kombucha brewing, internet surfing for interesting things to learn, learning for its own sake, anthropology, travel, cultural exploration (is this just more anthropology?), tutoring (English Conversation for ESL/English as a Second Language students, French, Writing Skills, History), decoupage, cats, writing (blogging, non-fiction, books about my travels), reading (non-fiction, fiction: anything by J. D. Robb, Janet Evanovich, Laurell K. Hamilton, my daughter’s supernatural fantasy/horror stories). More, much more, but that’s what I came up with off the top of my head. I’m sure more will come.

My big conversion van is dead to me. It needs a serious tune-up and fuel filter, so it coughs and sputters and tries to die as I drive it. Beyond that, it drinks too much. This GMC behemoth (Claire calls it the Enterprise because is is a Starcraft conversion...can you tell we like Star Trek?) has the largest V8 engine it can have, so it gets less than 11mpg. Not a good thing in this day of $4/gallon gas. It’s been sitting in front of my door for a couple of months now. I’ve been unable to sell it so that I can buy a smaller car, but now I have been given an idea: raffle it off! This seems to be the latest craze around here. Most everyone likes to gamble, at least a little, and the lure of getting a car for less than $100 is irresistible. My Hispanic neighbor has promised to sell tickets for me where the Mexicans hang out here in Arlington (they like big vans, apparently). His suggestion: let everyone choose one number between 1 and 54, and on a certain date, tell them to watch the Texas Lotto drawing. The last number chosen will be the winner of the van. If I sold tickets for $50 each times 54 tickets that would be $2700 that I could spend on a pretty nice used car. Woohoo! I’m excited at the prospect of finding the Enterprise a new home, and being able to drive again. I’ve actually been walking to UTA (University of Texas at Arlington) and to the store. It takes me an hour to walk the 2.5 miles to UTA, where I’ve been going to school for the past 3 ½ years. Last week on freecycle.org, I asked for a bike, and someone gave me their daughter’s. My neighbor on the other side replaced the brake pads, oiled the chain, made some adjustments, and voila, I now can ride to school! Takes me half the time it did walking. Only I can’t ride in the rain, which it is doing this morning. I’ll be glad to have a car again, but I still think I’ll walk more. It’s good exercise, and saves gas. Good for the climate, too, eh?

Eating a High Fat Diet

2008-03-24T22:03:00.001-05:00

On February 18th, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My fasting blood sugar was 277. I wasn't very surprised, since I knew I was addicted to sugar and junk food, but I was chagrined. The doctor wanted me to take oral medication (Metformin), and I did, for about 4 days. A friend got me a blood glucose monitor from her work (they were discontinuing the line) and some testing strips. My very first test was 2 hours after I ate a 6" sub from Subway--blood glucose (BG) was 335! Yikes!

After cutting out almost all carbs for 2 weeks, and being very hungry and tiring easily, I discovered a new way of eating. This diet concentrates on eating a lot of saturated fats, monounsaturated fats (MUFAs) and very little polyunsaturated fat (PUFAs), along with moderate protein and some green veggies. Very little carbs and absolutely NO refined sugars or carbs.

I'm here to tell you that I am not hungry, and that I am steadily losing weight. Most of the fats I am eating are in the form of virgin coconut oil (VCO), rendered pork and duck fat, butter, cream, sour cream, etc. Some extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) for flavor. I eat eggs, liver, chicken, beef, pork rinds (they add a crunch like corn chips without the carbs). I eat veggies like broccoli and cauliflower (you can steam cauliflower and mash it in the food processor with cream and butter and it's very yummy), squash, onions, mushrooms. I've even been eating a small potato either baked or pan fried, with lots of butter and sour cream.

As I continue on this diet, I'll keep you posted. My fasting blood sugar this morning was the lowest it's been--159. The goal is to keep it under 140 and closer to 100 for fasting.

Paris was wonderful!

2008-02-04T09:01:00.000-06:00

Well, I am soooooo behind on this blog! I loved Paris. Paris is me. I want to live in France, now. Here's just a quick rundown on my trip:

Stayed in a private home, an apartment just a block from Metro Dugommier. The rest of the group stayed in a hotel off Rue St. Antoine, about a quarter mile from Place de la Nation. That was about 3 stops on the metro from Dugommier. Every morning I had breakfast with my host, Patrick. He ran across the street to the boulangerie and brought us back a fresh hot baguette, which we ate with butter and jam (confiture). I had my tea with sugar and milk, he had a cup of hot chocolate.

Once breakfast was over, I took the Metro to Nation, and joined my fellow travelers at the hotel. Since I had actually registered for the hotel, and paid for it, I helped myself to the breakfast there and fixed a sandwich for lunch. (One of my classmates wanted a private room, so she paid me back for my portion.)

About 9am every day, we all set out to explore Paris. The first day we went to L'Arc du Triomphe, and climbed all the way up to the top to see the views of the city. Yikes! I was NOT in shape, but I made it. Thought my legs were made of rubber by the time I got to the top. After we climbed back down, we sauntered up the Champs Elysee in pairs and met up at the Place de la Concorde. After that, we had lunch, then toured La Louvre (I got to see the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo!).

Subsequent days we saw several museums, including the Musee d'Orsay, L'Orangerie, and more. We went to St. Sulpice church, saw Napoleon's tomb, the Rodin museum.

On Friday, the group went to Versailles, but I went with my host and his girlfriend to Chateau Chenonceau on the way to her mother's home in Lavasseau, a village southwest of Paris (about 3-4 hours). We spent the weekend there, and it was wonderful. We went to a medieval festival honoring a fairy named Melusine in Lusignane. We explored the city of Poitiers. We visited churches and pondered the long history.

One day during the 2nd week, the group went to Normandie to the beach. I stayed in Paris and went to Pere Lachaise Cemetery, where I saw Chopin's tomb, and finally found Jim Morrison's grave after two hours of walking. That cemetery is soooo huge, I only covered about 1/4 of it in over two hours.

We saw the Conciergery, the Catacombes with all the bones, walked all over the Latin Quarter looking for the bus stop that would take us back to the hotel.

All in all, a wonderful trip, and I would be back there in a heartbeat.

Paris, here I come!

2007-07-11T12:17:00.000-05:00

I leave for Paris on Saturday. Hooray! I'm so excited. I'm not staying with the rest of my group at the 3 star hotel, but with a Parisian family for 20 euros a night, including breakfast. For that rate, I get a bed in an alcove of the living room, and get to use my hosts' shower. I know I'm going to enjoy this a lot more than a hostel.

Paris in July

2007-05-27T08:12:00.000-05:00

I'm going to Paris this summer. Woohoo! I am sooooo excited. I leave July 14, and return on the 28th. This is a study abroad opportunity with the SUPA (School of Urban Planning and Affairs) department at UTA (the University of Texas at Arlington). We're going to learn how to 'read' the city, and how Paris continues to grow and modernize in the midst of all of its history. I'm just happy to be a part of it, and finally get to continental Europe.

Here are some of the sites I'm going to see:
La Tour Eiffel (of course)
Notre Dame
L'Opera
Sacre Coeur
L'Arc de Triomphe

We'll take one day to go to the beach, and we also have a whole weekend to ourselves. Some of the students are planning trips to Rome. I'd love to see the lavender fields of Provence, but am not certain I'll have the funds for that. Even spending the weekend sitting on the banks of the Seine sounds like fun to me. I'd like to visit Shakespeare and Co., a bookstore of only English books.

My bad

2007-02-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

Whoops. I was going to post every week, and it's been a whole month since I wrote anything. And it took a comment from Rosie to get me back here. Oh, well, here I am at last!

This past month at school has been draining. I dropped my 4th class, Theories of Cultural Anthropology. I love my French class. It's 1st and 2nd semester together, as an intensive, and boy is it intensive. The prof speaks almost all in French, and we do a lot of conversation back and forth, practicing particular verbs and vocabulary we are learning. I love it! Don't love the fact that it's a night class, tho....I'm tired by 6:30pm and exhausted by 8:30pm when we're done.

My other two classes are an intermediate interdisciplinary studies course (in which we are learning to write a research paper...boring!) and Advanced Exposition (English). The English class is ok, but I'm rather miffed at the prof. He gave me a D on my first paper, because it was 2-1/2 pages long instead of 3-5 pages. I could see a C, but a D??? Give me a break!

I'm close to graduating (December) but I want to quit now. It's not fun anymore. I'm not learning anything I enjoy except the French. I have to take college algebra in the summer, and I'm so not looking forward to that! Then I need two more upper level English classes, and the senior capstone in interdisciplinary studies (where I'll have to write a 25-30 page research paper related to my degree program, which is Cultural Travel Writer...see, I should have kept the anthro class). I'll need to take other classes to fill in the hours needed to keep my grants, too. And more than 3 classes is just too much for me.

What would I like to take? Hmmmm, let's see....Russian 1 & 2, French 3 & 4, a cooking class (French, maybe). And I'd like to just surf the web and find out deliciously interesting facts.

Here's a taste of some of my interests right now:

Healthy cooking (raw food lifestyle, vegetarianism, blending, juicing, green smoothies, raw milk, cheese)
All natural skin care
Organic gardening (growing my own food)
Herbs (growing, using, and healing with)
Art (decoupage, mainly, and collage)
Unschooling (that's child-led learning, a form of homeschooling)
Travel (oh, please, somebody send me to Paris or Yorkshire!)

There are so many things I am interested in, and I don't want to be an expert in any of them, I just want to try them on for a while. I like being able to cook intuitively, and I adore the basic utensils I've collected (a Vitamix, a juicer, wok, cast iron skillets, molcajete...this is a Mexican mortar and pestle).

Just last night I made what was supposed to be a carob smoothie. It has dates, coconut, carob powder, and water. Then I added a banana to make it thicker. I poured it into my glass, and set about cleaning up the blender jar and lid. When I got ready to drink it, it was solid! I ended up eating it with a spoon, and it was like chocolate pudding. Yummy!

See how easily I get off track? ;-) I'm also very interested in using herbal tinctures to heal myself, as well as getting my veggies in a green smoothie.

Back to my original dilemma: I want to quit school. Why? Am I terrified of finishing, and then being expected to go out there and support myself? My dream is to travel the world and talk to people (hear their stories, and maybe tell stories); however, I cannot do this until my daughter is 18, and out of school. She's 15 now. She'll be 16 1/2 when I graduate, which leaves me a year and a half to figure out something until I can take off. I'd love to live part of the year in England (summers) and part of the year in Spain or Italy (winters, of course). How I will earn my keep overseas (or here, for that matter) I have no idea yet. I know that I don't relish the idea of working for a corporation, with all the bureaucratic crap. So what do I do? If anyone reading this has a suggestion or 3, let me know, eh? I'm looking for ideas.

OK, I'm running out of steam and need to do some homework before I head up to school to tutor this afternoon. Talksoon!

Journey into Spirit

2007-01-27T10:03:00.000-06:00

9/25/2001

Laura emailed me today to say she disapproved of my trip and would not join us for lunch. I am saddened by this. It is if she is ‘channeling’ my mother, or Linda [my sister]. I pray that she can ease her mind in this.

My client Sandra doesn’t seem too happy about this either. Hmmm….she’s getting massage from Laura. Wonder if she really feels that strongly about it, or if she is echoing Laura.
Or maybe, no one thought I would really go through with this, and now are shocked by it. I’ve never followed through before.
I am angry at Laura right now. How dare she think she can tell me I’m wrong, and expect me to do her bidding?
I am rather excited about the trip. And a bit scared, in a way.

When I told Polly at lunch today that Laura had told me to look up the Hare Krishna temples where I would go in Europe, she laughed, and then she told me to find them at the airport and go home with them. They would give me a bed and food. Angelic messages? It’s possible. We’ll see if they are at the airport in London. I could offer to help them somehow, in return.
I’m waiting on a massage client now. After that one, I will have done 5 here at Nurturing Body Center. $170, plus the $60 that Elmina paid me for working on her last Friday. That’s about UK158.00
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about what and how you think and feel. You know that you’re protected and safe, and that all is well, so project that! Stop acting afraid or unsure of yourself, because you think that’s how you’re supposed to act. You are a way-shower! Show others how they can trust in God, the angels, and their own higher selves for guidance.
Be not afraid, Little One, Magnificent One. You are my co-creator in this. What do you want to happen? What are your intentions? Do it. This is your creation. Make it how you want it.

2007-01-27T09:42:00.000-06:00

My birthday was yesterday. I felt like crap. Not because it was my birthday, no, I was looking forward to it. I felt like crap because I have a cold. The third cold since early December. Yuck. I never get sick. One cold every couple of years, maybe. I'm ready for this to be over with!

I am 51 years old. How the heck did I get to be 51? I feel like 21, or maybe 12. Except that I'm not as unsure of myself as I was then. I know who I am, and what I want to do when I grow up. I want to travel! I want to meet new people, and learn about them and their culture, their history.

So, on my birthday, I skipped my Anthropology class and stayed quiet until time to go pick up my daughter Claire from school. We went to a late lunch at Jade Cafe (she always gets chicken lo mein, I got vegetable egg foo yong, very yummy), then we spent 3 1/2 hours (yes, that's right) getting her hair done. She's now very blond with bright red (orangey) tips. Looks pretty good on her. Should be interesting when her dark reddish-brown roots start growing it. Can you say stripes? After that, I still felt crappy, so we opted for Sonic blasts and tots/onion rings and a movie at home...."Peter Pan." Really cute flick. Next weekend, we'll go see a movie together with her brother Garrett. Maybe "Blood and Chocolate," if we can get Garrett to agree. It's a werewolf movie, so he might. Personally, I think it might be a chick flick in disguise. Don't tell him, ok?

This morning, Claire and I are watching "Black Dahlia" on dvd. We saw it at the theater for her birthday, back in September. Fairly good movie. My head is clearer, I'm not coughing my lungs up. Still sniffling.

Tomorrow Claire and I go to see Body Worlds in Dallas. The one with all the cadavers. She is excited, can hardly wait. Me, too. We'll see the IMAX movie as well as the museum exhibit. We're joining a homeschooling group, who got us reduced price tickets.

My next entry will be from the book I want to write, "Journey Into Spirit," about my travels. This first set of entries will be about Scotland. I traveled there the fall of 2001, returned in March 2002.

It's a Snow Day!

2007-01-17T07:11:00.000-06:00

The winter weather they predicted for last weekend and Monday never really happened here in Arlington, TX. The temps were bitterly cold, but the roads were fairly dry. So last night, I went to bed at midnight, wondering if my van would refuse to start again Wednesday night after class. My daughter Claire called me at 6:30am (?!?!?!?) and said,

"Look outside, Mom."
"Why?"
"Just look outside, Mom."
"Front or back?"
"Doesn't matter. Just look outside."

It's snowing! We might get as much as an inch of the stuff today here in town. All the schools are closed, including UTA (the University of Texas at Arlington). I'm sad because I have my new Anthropology class today, but happy because now I can do a lot of homework, and get caught up. Yes, I'm already behind. Four classes (17 hours) is a lot when you're a senior.

The forecast for the rest of the week is temps in the 30's, and rain. Yuck. When it rains, it's supposed to be in the 50's. That's the rule for North Texas winter, right?

She Sits At Her Desk

2007-01-14T11:04:00.000-06:00

This is a poem I wrote for my creative writing class last fall. It's about my best friend and neighbor, Renee.

She sits at her desk
Searching for cross-stitch patterns
On the Internet, talking to two people at once
On instant messenger, paying an endless
Stream of bills while checking email, talking
On her cell phone, to first one person then another.

Her talismans keep her company throughout the day—
Photos of her husband and her, her kids as kids,
And grandchildren, stuffed valentine bear says “I love you,”
Frog and monkey the dog didn’t want (they didn’t make noises),
A handmade moccasin and metallic butterfly dangling.

Logging her husband’s trucker miles, paying bills again,
Checking email again, burning CDs, on the phone
—still, or again? Yelling at the dog to stop
Barking at unheard noises, wondering what she’ll cook
For dinner, or if she’ll even bother.

The Creek

2007-01-05T08:23:00.000-06:00

This is a short essay I wrote a year ago or so for a writing exercise:

I sit at my laptop, at the dining table which has never been used as anything but my desk and a clutter-pile, looking up and out the big picture window. Outside is my patio, all of which I can see from where I sit is the chain link fence that is a barrier to the concrete creek beyond. I cannot see the creek from where I sit, it is below my line of vision, but on the other side is a jumbled jungle of greenspace, gnarled trees with leaves just unfurling, the brown leaves of dead vines not quite ready to come out of winter hiding, shrubberies taller than most houses. There are a lot of dead and fallen branches. This is truly a wildscape and is never cleaned up by the urban planners. It seems enough that they lined this creek with concrete so that it can be a storm drain for the city. Through an opening in this jungle I see the back of a house in the neighborhood beyond the creek. The house seems to be empty, and I wonder about it. Is it for sale? Who used to live there and why is it abandoned? I long for a home of my own, with a yard in which to garden. Instead I sit in my apartment, gazing longingly at this seeming haven across the creek.

Anywhere Can Be Sacred Space

2007-01-05T08:14:00.000-06:00

Anywhere can be sacred space. I understand this concept very well, because my sacred space is the pages of my journal. It does not matter where I am, I can find peace for myself in my writing, in those pages. I vividly remember a time when I became so focused on what I was writing in my journal, it was as if I transcended time and space, to be no-place.

Beginning in the fall of 2001, I spent the better part of six months in Scotland, traveling and backpacking. It was early October, and I was sitting in the bus station in Glasgow. It was cold outside, and wet, but dry and fairly warm in the big waiting area. The buses were lined up outside, facing into the lobby. A long wall of glass separated me from the buses, and the cold weather. I was on my way to the Loch Lomond Youth Hostel. Loch Lomond is close, actually only a short thirty-minute drive from Glasgow, but I had no car. I had enough money to buy my bus ticket, a sandwich and drink, and very little left over. As I slowly ate my bacon sandwich and drank my Dr. Pepper, I wondered how I was to survive in a foreign country with no money. I began to put down my thoughts, my fears, and questions into my journal. In the middle of all the hustle and bustle of such a busy place, all the people coming and going on their mysterious journeys, I was virtually deaf and blind to all about me. Nothing existed at that moment in time but my journal, my pen, and me.

As I wrote of what I had done that day—the walk across the city from the youth hostel; stopping to look back across the panorama of the city and its parks and university; admiring the architecture of the Victorian guest houses on the street above Sauchiehall Road (the more modern main road through the city center)—I asked myself what was next, where was I going from there? Once the question formed in my mind, and was committed to paper, the answers began to flow into my mind, as if by magic. I could hardly write fast enough to get it all down before one thought disappeared and another took its place. More questions arose in response to the answers I received, and I wrote them down, as well. It was a dialogue with myself, my higher mind, perhaps, all captured on paper. Throughout this storm on paper, I was only peripherally aware of my surroundings. I knew people were walking by me. I could tell they were curious as to what I was doing, but I did not acknowledge them. Even when I looked up, I did not really see them. I was caught up in the world of my mind. Once in a while, I surfaced long enough to note the time, and to verify that I had not missed my bus, and I found myself momentarily disoriented and had to refocus. Then I sank once more into the intimate world of my own making, into the sacred space of my journal. It felt safe there. The answers I received while writing in my journal reassured me that I would always be taken care of, that I was a survivor, and need not worry.

There were many such memories from my travels through Scotland, but the time in the Glasgow bus station is foremost in my mind lately. It was one of the times when my surroundings were not peaceful, yet I was able to disengage from it all while in my sacred space. I felt at peace there, for those few moments. If more people understood that sacred space could be defined as more than just simply a church, or perhaps a place in nature, I think they might find theirs more easily. If more people found their own sacred space, and spent some time there, they might have more peace in their souls. And perhaps, we might find this world a more peaceful place as a result.

Jolly New Year's Challenge

2007-01-05T07:52:00.000-06:00

Barbara Sher issued a challenge and I am accepting it. She tells us to post on a blog every week in 2007. She suggests picking a project and working on it, but since I am a Scanner who never finishes much of anything, I have decided to begin the book I want to write.

My book is about my travels. I haven't been traveling much lately, but the few trips I have taken are still vivid in my imagination. A moment's pause, and I am back in Egypt, cruising down the Nile, or staring with awe at the carvings in a temple. Or I am back in Scotland, walking across Glasgow from the youth hostel to the city center, or catching the first glimpse of Edinburgh Castle as I stand beneath it on Prince's Street.

As per Barbara's suggestion, I will not make this blog chronological, but will post random stories as they occur to me. I believe that there are no coincidences, so whatever story I post must therefore have a raison d'etre, and I trust that.

I have to get ready for work right now, but I'll be back soon to post my first story. Are you ready?

December 16, 2006

2006-12-16T12:17:00.000-06:00

This is the first post of my first blog. I've read the blogs of many others, and some are quite articulate. I only hope that mine read as well...I'm not counting this first one.